Nannies, Boyfriends and Girlfriends, and Maintaining Professional Boundaries

Is it Professional to Discuss Your Dating Life With Your Boss?

When working as a live in nanny, the caregiver must respect house rules. Before accepting a job position the nanny and parents ought to discuss the rules of the home to determine if the job is a good fit. Some parents will enforce curfews on week nights, rules about guests, and even restrictions about visiting girlfriends and boyfriends.

Last night on Beverly Hills Nannies the episode was about love. The episode showed one nanny and her boyfriend going on a double date with her employers, another Mom Boss setting her nanny up on a blind date, and another nanny was encouraged to date a swim instructor by her boss.

Cindy Margolis invited a blind date over to her house for her nanny Kristin. Instead of caring for the kids, nanny Amber and Justin’s swim instructor Marcus flirted. Amber’s boss was caring for her infant while the nanny was in the pool flirting. Then, we see Lucy and her boyfriend Curtis invited out on a double date with Lucy’s employers Tricia and Byron Fisher.

Seeing the nannies and their employers setting up blind dates and going on double dates felt so odd to me. Mixing dating and a nanny job just feels so unprofessional. Undoubtedly when working as a nanny we get to know the parents very well. Of course they will hear about our boyfriends and girlfriends. Obviously the parents may even meet the man or woman we are dating once or twice. But, having our boyfriends or girlfriends visit during work, or going out on double dates with our bosses, is something I’ve never seen or heard of in the nanny industry.

In fact, only once in my 19-years of working as a live-in or live-out nanny did I invite a boyfriend to meet my employers. When I worked as a live-in he visited briefly one work day. I asked permission to have him visit and it was announced when he would be spending part of one day of work with the children and I and eat a casual dinner with the family and I at my employer’s kitchen table.

Although nannies and their employers build close relationships is it unprofessional to discuss or share our dating lives with our employers?

Has your employer ever set you up on a blind date? Have you ever double dated with your employers and your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you think having your employer set you up on blind dates and double dating with your boss crosses professional boundaries?


  1. I think for live in and live out nannies it is different. I also think husbands vs wives is different too. I think boyfriends come and go but husbands should be expected to stop by. I would never play the dating game at my job though like we saw last night on this tv show. But the show was fun to watch. Just not what a nanny job is really like though. I wondered who was babysitting Tricia's kids when out with the nanny? My employers don't have back up babysitters.

  2. I just heard about a nanny that got fired in town. She had her boyfriend visit during work hours. I think she should be able to see him or meet him with the kids but has to have permission first. I worry that most nannies take advantage of their jobs sometimes. They have to remember they are working. It's not your family it's your job.

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