When One Door Closes, Many More Open

imageDid You Have an Unexpected Change or Loss this Year?

Have you ever not been hired for a nanny job you wanted, been fired unexpectedly, got in a terrible fight with a friend, or had a messy romantic break up?

When bad and unexpected changes occur in life it may feel like the end of the world. But, when something that you don’t like happens, it’s also an opportunity. It’s a new beginning.

The changes may be unwanted, hard, and unpleasant but that doesn’t mean you cannot move forward.

It’s only natural to judge yourself and analyze the mistakes you have made when something bad happens to you. Why am I always wrong? Why did I say that? Why does this keep happening to me? But that’s not a useful way to approach the situation.

It’s fine to look back at red flags in a situation that went bad. But beating yourself up for every little word, action, or decision you made does you no good. And once you take the judgment off yourself, it becomes easier to access your own wisdom.

No matter how painful or unexpected a change may be, no experience is just good or only bad in life. Ask yourself, what you learned from the experience? What lesson can you take from the experience to change in the future? What new opportunities are open to you now? Who are you right now and who you want to become?

I am not saying you should ignore the pain and sadness of loss. Feeling the pain and grieving in private, with close friends, or even a therapist is important. But you also have to simultaneously keep moving forward.

The key is not to wallow or become stagnate. Don’t let something bad that happened to you, a change you weren’t prepared for, or the fear of new challenges, keep you from new and better opportunities.

So, if the Nanny Family didn’t call you back for a second interview, your nanny agency can still schedule more interviews. You lost the job with a long commute and no benefits, now you can find a position closer to home and be sure to negotiate for benefits. If the boyfriend who took you for granted broke up with you, there are many fish in the sea to choose from who will adore you.

The only constant in life is change. So learning to cope with change is a real and necessary life skill. And it’s really true, as one door closes, many new doors open.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. — Charles Darwin

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