Coping with Prejudice by Making Diversity a Part of Life
By Alvin Poussaint, M.D. and Susan Linn, Ed.D.
Children need encouragement to be assertive in these situations, at least saying to the name-caller, “I don’t like you calling me bad names and I want you to stop.”
And it’s important to stress that talking out a problem is always the thing to try first. If a situation gets out of hand, a parent may need to intervene — and the child needs to know that you are ready to back her up — but children should be encouraged to initially try to handle these difficulties themselves.
Then, if a similar incident occurs again, they will be better able to deal with it. Whatever the problem, however, parents of color need to ensure that their children develop coping mechanisms that don’t compromise their children’s dignity.
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I work for an african american family and I am of irish decent. It baffles some in the family's local town. It's crazy but people have asked how it feels to work for the family??? It doesn't make sense. A family is a family. But in fact they are one of the nicest families I ever worked for. The kids have not problems. Honestly the third grader and kindergarten children do not notice they are a different race from others in their school. But I do sense it sometimes from adults. Kids don't notice such trivial things. Former white charge didn't notice Obama is black he said, "No he isn't!" Because kids don't make such definitions. The current kids could care less. Thankfully.
Oh, and honestly, such shallow people that wonder what it would be to be irish and work for a family with african ancestors — I'd rather not be their friends anyway. Ignorance.
I think it's hard to understand people of different races cultures when you don't come in contact with them.I used to nanny in a town that was mainly all white.The little boy I nannied for was in 2nd grade. He told me about a new student- a boy with a turban on his head and dark skin and a mom who wore sandels and a 'funny wrap dress'. He said the new boy's mom came in with him to class to introduce him to the other children and explain why her son wore a turban. She also had little treats for everyone.My charge though it was cool- but said that most of the kids did not want to be the new boy's friend. I asked-"Do you want to give him a try to be your friend?" He said yes, and we invited him over for a playdate.They became best friends and after 5 years still are.
The point is to help the children to stand up for themselves. If anyone says something mean they need to say "Don't say that to me. It's mean!" That sort of thing. Racist comments or being treated meanly because of race or prejudice is like bullying! Kids need to learn to stand up to bullies.Plus, my mother told me to stand up for a new foreign classmate in third grade. I just did what my mom said when another student made fun of our new classmate. I said, "Stop it! That's mean!" It worked.Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves! Then they need to find an adult like you to confide in for help and to express their emotions. Then if they see another child being teased, bullied, or treated unfairly to step in and say something like "Stop It!!"