If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say Don’t Say it at All

Nanny Confessions: Nannies Need to Practice What They Preach

We say it all the time to kids: “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all.” If nannies find themselves saying the common phrase to kids, why can’t nannies do the same with one another? Nannies need to think before they speak to keep from criticizing kids, complaining about their jobs, disrespecting other nannies, and before posting nasty comments on social media.

I confess, I’m amazed that some caregivers still don’t seem to understand that their actions and words posted online can potentially harm their reputations, get them fired, or hurt their chances of landing a job.

I confess I’m always dumbfounded to see nannies share their deepest darkest secrets about their lives and jobs in nanny Facebook groups with over 100, 200, and 300 members of complete strangers, and they expect these strangers to respect their privacy. I have nanny friends that have lost jobs, friends, and professional respect from comments they have posted on social media. Nannies should never trust strangers just because they are members of the same nanny group.

Perhaps the most hostile act one can do on Facebook is to kick someone out of a group or to “block” them.

For example, after accepting a “friend request” from an ex college boyfriend who got verbally abusive I “blocked” him and he became enraged. When I spoke to the police about getting a restraining order they explained that no one should ever “block” anyone on Facebook or kick them out of a Facebook group. They warned me that such actions enrage the angry and depress the insecure. The law enforcement officers shared that Facebook ruins so many relationships because people write more, share more, and act more hostile on Facebook than they would face-to-face. But the consequences are just as (if not more) harmful.

So today, I urge nannies to practice what they preach in all parts of their lives. Assume that the parents you work for currently, and potential future employers, will see everything you post online. Before speaking to the kids you care for, your employers, friends, or strangers on social media consider if what is being said is helpful or hurtful. If it’s the later, don’t say it (or write it) at all.


  1. Nannies are the worst at gossip and being nasty towards one another! Absolutely catty. What are we teaching the kids?

  2. Nannies on FB act so immature. FB ruins peoples relationships. It ruins families. Best to stay off FB or at least don’t get pulled into the drama. Thanks for sharing this advice.

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