“A Gate at the Stairs” by Lorrie Moore – From A Nanny’s Perspective

“A Gate at the Stairs” by Lorrie Moore is a fiction novel. The main character is Tassie, a college student moonlighting as a nanny, that stumbles into the emotional minefield of modern parenthood, racial politics, and unspoken grief — all while trying to wrangle a toddler and find herself.

At first, as a nanny myself, I related deeply to Tassie’s wide-eyed optimism and awkwardness in navigating the strange, intimate space between caregiver and outsider. The way she tries to love and connect with the child she’s hired to care for felt heartbreakingly familiar.

But, “A Gate at the Stairs” isn’t just a book about nannying — it’s about grief, race, privilege, and all the silences between people who want to connect but can’t seem to say the right things. 

Moore’s writing is sharp and often darkly funny, but the emotional weight sneaks up on you. There were moments that made me pause and sit with a line, because it hit too close to home.

What struck me most as a nanny was the loneliness of the job for Tassie — how the nanny is there for all the little moments, and yet never fully part of the family. Tassie’s journey reminded me how vulnerable nannies can be when caring for others’ children, and how often the boundaries of love and duty blur.

“A Gate at the Stairs” is a sharp, strange, and sneakily profound. I felt like I came to read about a babysitting gig, stayed for the heartbreak, and left wondering if she should’ve majored in philosophy instead.

Fair warning: “A Gate at the Stairs” isn’t a feel-good nanny tale. It’s more like a “welcome to adulthood, here’s your emotional baggage” starter pack — with really good prose.

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